Just Keep Fighting! – Adam Zwan
Everyone keeps telling me to be proud of myself for dealing with everything I am going through associated with Wolfram Syndrome and not be so hard on myself for any unexpected issue; it seems to always be easier said than done. I know that I have had my fair share of health issues and I am still willing and able to keep moving but incidents, like the one a couple days ago, make it difficult to wake up each morning and accept everything.
It all started with an abnormal schedule due to my on-call employment status. It was a pool class from 9 to 10 a.m., in a room that is kept at 86 degrees, which caused my glucose to fluctuate. After returning home I quickly put my ground turkey in the oven to bake for an hour. Within that hour my glucose dropped and the event began.
For about two hours I felt like I was in a living nightmare. Everything appeared out of order and misplaced. I kept trying to gain my bearings by saying my name and repeating my home address is and that is where I am. Repeatedly, I kept saying “what is going on; am I going insane? Get a hold of yourself!” During all this chaos my father called the house to find out that I sounded strange. The next thing I remember is waking up on the sofa with two EMS officers asking me questions and feeding me a turkey sandwich and orange juice. When I slowly returned coherent the officers informed me that they were called to check on me and when they arrived I was found on the sofa saying wild and unusual things.
To this day I continue replaying the incident step by step in my head trying to come to terms with it all and say ‘This is my life so do the best you can with what you have.” Thinking about events like these make me hurt all over and make me want to find a corner and ball my eyes out. Instead, I keep all negative thoughts and feelings bundled up inside and take it out on myself every morning at the gym. When speaking about my methods to family members they tell me that I should not be so hard on myself and to be proud of all my accomplishments dealing with diabetes and Wolfram Syndrome. In simplest terms, I cannot stop fighting for more and pushing forward with life